I have never really cared for myself. I am a people pleaser and I have always been seeking appreciation in others. I think a big problem that ate away on my relationship was the fact that I did not have a good self care routine installed.
What do I mean when saying that? Well, basically I did not really do anything for myself and the sake of doing it ever. I was always just looking for appreciation in others which made me happy. This has always never been a problem for me since I almost always had a lot of friends around me and since I moved to Berlin for my studies I have always hung around with my room mates and a bunch of other awesome people. I was happy, or so I thought.
Well, of course I knew I wasn't happy. I always thought, I'd be lovesick when I was unsuccessfully chasing different girls over the span of a year or so. I always thought, I'd be happy when I'd get a girlfriend. In the end I managed to be confident enough to get one by working my ass of for years which brought me in some state of 'almost burnout' after half a year of dating my previous girlfriend.
So what's the point? I think I need to learn how to care for myself and how to be happy on my own before I can find real love and have successful relationship. I need to be constantly working on myself. Since I need to fight for everyday to just be okay and feel good anyways, as I described yesterday, this what I need to do anyways.
So what is it, that I do on a daily basis?
- First thing in the morning: go to the bathroom, shower, trim my beard, brush my teeth, use a comb. Everything is better if you're not feeling so fuzzy and beeh after waking up. I really needed to learn this one, especially the comb thing. Since I have naturally dry skin, I also apply some skin care afterwards.
- I use deodorants or perfumes, because I have a nose that I working quite well and I like to smell well. If people try to take that away from you by making fun of you: let them do it. Haters gonna hate.
- I wear good clothes every day. I recently threw away almost anything that wasn't a good fit for me and my body. I will eventually write another blog post on this. However, I don't even wear sweat pants anymore. I just wear jeans. One for the life outside of this apartment and one for the apartment. The one for the apartment is a little bit less tight and made out of a less hard fabric. It's still quite comfy, but I always feel good looking and not to slackly.
- I make my bed. It's the first achievement everyday that sets me up on a goal hunting mission. Don't underestimate this one!
- I try to sing a long to some of my most favourite songs. Especially the empowering ones, but depending on my feeling I sometimes also choose the sad ones. Singing is the most effective way for me to get in touch with my feelings. If you're more into crafting a piece of art or whatever, just do that! I am a really bad singer and when I start to sing people leave the room to stop cringing, but I do it anyways.
- I do sports following the training plan created for me by the app Freelethics, which I really like. I just need someone to tell me which goals I should be achieving today and then work my butt off, because I can be proud afterwards that I did it. Sometimes my muscles are sore and I need to take a day off, but I restart the game as soon as I can.
- Daily step goal: 10k. Also low intensity movement helps your body feel like it is supposed to feel. I listen to a lot of podcasts while walking, so it's not really a waste of time for me.
- Meditate. I use the app created by headspace.com. It's a great app and I really do like it.